The Role of the Hausfrau

What a maligned role it has been--the hausfrau, the housewife, the keeper of the home always ready with a gentle hand, a warm bowl of something hearty, wisdom. She's quick with a broom and to stitch up a wound. She's most often a supporting character, by her very nature, because it's what she does--she supports. She succors. She cooks and cleans and wipes noses. She is the Eternal Mother, and everyone hates her.

No, I'm not a fan of Freud.

Hate is a strong word; let's call it dramatic emphasis. She's been picked apart so often for being what she is, called a trope and worse. I've read criticisms of David Edding's Polgara, for actually seeming to like her role as caretaker of everyone she comes across, because she, being one of the most powerful people in that particular world, should be more. And though I do understand that this became a trope because it was most often the only role given any woman in a fantasy novel, (and in life!) I can't help feeling she's being overlooked, or worse, looked down upon, as somehow not interesting enough, strong enough, valuable enough for our fiction abundant with warrior women.

This is one of those subjects I, as a woman, a mother, and yes, a housewife, have struggled with through my life. I wiped the noses and cooked the food and kept the house while my husband brought home the paycheck that supported the household. Because he is him, I get to be me, and vice versa. It's traditional, for want of a better word, but it has worked for twenty four years.The key here is that it was a choice, not a societal mandate; and therein lies the difference.

I have spent way too much time defending the role I chose. There's no money, no prestige, very little outside validation of any kind. I've always been offended by the term working mother. I hated being asked, once my kids were all in school full time, if I was going back to work. The implication is there, no matter how innocently said; and this, I think, is part of what led to the hausfrau being one of those characters we just don't write.

But she's making a comeback, in a positive way. Can you guess who I'm going to cite?

Molly Weasley (Harry Potter Series.) She is a magically powerful woman. She can conjure up dinner, but she cooks it herself, for her family, with love. Her house is often a bit cluttered, but it's always clean. She tends her children, her husband and her home with the same ferocity with which she ultimately battles Death Eaters. Molly Weasley is the embodiment of mother, hausfrau, tender of the hearth and home--and she rocks.

Hausfrau is never going to get a starring role. Her very nature makes her a supporting character, not a starring one; but she doesn't have to be a trope either. We need more of her. We need to love her again, because Wendy Darling isn't acquiescing to societies expectations unless we impose that on her; and neither is Molly Weasley. It's just who they are. Without them, Peter and the lost boys, Harry, Ron, Hermione and all the rest would not have lasted long enough to see the end of their stories.



Got a hausfrau for me? Let the list begin!